Tag Archives: Books

Coming up for air

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Still here. Still sober. Haven’t had much to say. So much is happening in the world with regards to COVID-19 and I’m staying home, staying safe.

Haven’t been reading blogs. Apologies. Hoping that everyone is safe and well. For all the essential people and businesses that are keeping the world functioning as best you can, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I have moments of anxiousness. Followed of feelings of gratefulness. To have a roof over my head, no shortage of food, self isolating with someone I love, cats to cuddle with, plenty to occupy myself with till the end of time. Retired. Plenty of firewood to get us through the coming winter, power, internet, water, views of trees. Rubbish services are still running. And time. Learning to use time more wisely in among long stretches of sleeping, cooking, Netflix and YouTube.

I enjoy my own company and could happily spend everyday at home. I prefer to deal with people via email or text. Online shopping for groceries has been a great experience. However when I went out today to check out the supermarket situation I felt such elation to be outside. I felt like I had been holding my breath for weeks. Elation, tears of relief and a little less anxiety. In all honesty we were running the car around the block to keep the battery alive. It was just a car ride but so much more. I waved and smiled to a complete stranger and was greeted in return. A pleasant exchange. I will make the most of the garden, take the time to get outside in the fresh air and make a better effort to keep my fruit and vegetables healthy and edible. I have started coriander, ginger, turmeric and garlic inside.

Sanity toolkit for me consists of computer adventure games, sketching, writing, and organising the house. Currently in the kitchen. Part way through. Got side tracked and did the entrance way instead. Feel myself easily distracted, thoughts scattered. Listening to Billie Ellish while cleaning has been good. Taking time out to have a really good cup of tea or coffee in a chosen cup. A moment to saver the taste, notice the shape of the handle and how it allows me to hold the cup. Take in the colour of the tea, the smell. A moment of serenity. I seem to have collected demitasse cups. I have choices. I have a Turkish tea set too. I can travel the world with a cup of tea. Opting for tea these days because I made some wonderful cafe de olla, Mexican spiced coffee, and wow, fantastic but strong, made me wired till the wee hours. Love the flavour. Look it up if it peaks your interest. Used jaggery for the sweeter instead of panela.

Arts Live
Heard today that PBS is or is going to shoe online for free Broadway show of the past. And National Theatre is going to show on YouTube from 2 April.

Online education is coming cheaper or free
https://www.edx.org/
https://www.udemy.com/
https://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm
http://www.openuniversity.edu/
https://www.coursera.org/

Learn a language
https://www.inc.com/larry-kim/9-places-to-learn-a-new-language-online-for-fre.html

Reading
Despite the libraries being closed I can still access ebooks.
https://www.gutenberg.org/

Be well. Be distracted if that is the best way to get through this. Safety first.

Wash your hands. And put cream on afterwards. My hands feel raw from all this washing. I was even washing fruit in soapy water today. No complaining here.

COVID-19: Day 6 of Level 4 Lockdown here in New Zealand.
(Level 4 is the highest level.)
(Self Isolation – Essential services – Financial Support –
Be Kind – Wash Your Hands – Stay Home)

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When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing – by Daniel H. Pink

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BOOK REVIEW *****

Thoughtful, fascinating observations on timing. Beginnings, middles and endings. Noticing when is your best time, your trough (your lows), and how to boost, rejuvenate and rest when you need.

Important decisions should never be made in the afternoons.

Avoid driving between 2-3pm to lower your risk of traffic accidents.

In your 29th, 39th, 49th, 59th years you tend to make extra pushes to do something extreme, like run a marathon for the first time.

Synchronising with another person or a group can lift your physical and mental wellbeing. Ie. singing, yoga, running,…

Write x amount of words a day. If you happen to stop mid sentence. Stop there. Coming back the next day it will be easier to return to the unfinished sentence than to a completed one. Hemingway swore by this.

Practical suggestions are given at the end of each chapter to improve your ‘When.’ I feel like I need to read the book again because there are so many good ideas packed into this book.

I love the example used of the dabbawallas of Mumbai and how mostly illiterate men without the use of cellphones or technology can synchronise with others to deliver home cooked lunches from home to the office everyday without mistakes. From house to office on bicycles and trains with co-ordination that is exquisite.

The film The Lunchbox is based around this very daily routine. I have watched it many times and it is a wonderful love story.

Library book obsession and a confession

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I am a library book hoarder. By hoarder I mean I see a book that I’d like to read and go straight to the library website and see if they have it and then request it. Hence to me having 15 books out at the same time. Yes even I can see that that is too many. Some are fiction some are non-fiction. No matter which way I look at it – It’s too many to focus on each book and give them the attention they deserve.

Case in point I have to return the Brené Brown book, Rising Strong today or pay a fine. It cannot be renewed. I’ve tried already. I am three quarters of the way through and I haven’t given it the full attention that it deserves. It wasn’t because it is a terrible book. It is a fantastic book. I have been hovering over other books and in the end distracted by all.

I have already started a book list, a written one, that I do by hand in a notebook. I started this last month, plus I have the Library page (check it out there some gems there) on this blog. In the future if I find a book to add to the list, I will do that and NOT request it immediately. I have put a freeze on some of my books on request. I am learning to pace myself with books.

We have a lot of books at home and I love looking at them. We sleep in a library. One entire wall, is covered in books in a custom build bookcase that I built. It is so tall that we need a ladder to reach the top. We have a book ladder. I had always wanted one. It doesn’t slide, there are no wheels, but it is solid wood and it looks the part. Ready for book retrieval once I get my clothes off it. It doubles as a clothes hanger. Multi-purposing is a good thing, right?

I will not be giving up books entirely. Never. I love to be surrounded my them. I just plan to reduce the number of library books I get out at the same time.

I have a confession to make. I found a library book that had fallen down behind a wooden box. I swore to the librarian that I had returned it months ago. She believed me. I believed me. Beside the book was the soda stream empty canister in its box that I had been looking for for months. I must have emptied out the car twice to no avail. We went out and bought two more canisters. Now we have three spares. Today I will humbly return the book that fell behind the box.

One book at a time.

I need reading in my life. Reading comforts me. It takes me to new and old places. It makes me think, laugh, and cry. It teaches me, it cocoons me in good times and bad, in dark thoughts and sad thoughts. Books are meant to be read. That said words are meant to be written, to be spoken or to be sung. If we are alone who can we share our words and thoughts with? Sharing out thoughts brings togetherness and understanding. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Share your thoughts. I’m listening.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride Ph.d.

I have been quiet on my sober blog for a couple of months. I have been working on myself. Taking the time to decide to stop drinking has been the best decision ever. Being sober is a choice. I think around the six month sober mark you start to feel cocky and you think it is easy to not drink. The occasional thought creeps in telling you wouldn’t it be nice to have a beer or a wine or … I thought about drinking. No that’s not true. Or is it. I thought about the first sip. I did not partake. I thought how far I’d come and stayed true to myself and remained sober. I am sober.

With a clear head and loads more time on my hands I have been reading and using the Internet to heal and grow. That doesn’t happen overnight. And it’s not a destination either. I will never be done being sober. It is a journey of being sober. What I intend to do while being sober is the hard part as I’ve said in the past.

I am dealing with life. I am dealing with feelings and finding out who I really am. I am questioning everything about myself. Do I like or do something because I like it or because someone else suggested it and so I did it or like it. Everything is being turned upside down. Re-examined. The hard part of feelings has begun to been addressed. Sure there are triggers that appear and without warning the PTSD reaction involuntarily shows itself. I’m working on it. Thanks to Karyl McBride.

This book, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride Ph.d.was recommended on a YouTube channel. I looked it up and borrowed it from the library. What perfect timing for this book to come into my life. Such a helpful book to deal with an important relationship, the mother-daughter bond. Not all relationships are meant to be. Families should not always stay together. In our culture this kind of talk is taboo: Don’t talk ill of families or familial relationships. Because of that taboo and the reluctance to talk or discuss this many people feel that they are broken or that there is something wrong with them for not being able to have that ‘good’ close relationship. Chosen families are that because of understanding, commitment, love and other good stuff. Without it they are bound to fail. Your chosen family doesn’t have to be the family you grew up with, it doesn’t have to be the family that gave birth to you. You decide who you want to spend your time with.

Time is precious. Spend it with the ones who deserve your love.

Kick The Drink…Easily

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Kick The Drink…Easily by Jason Vale
Book Review 5/5

Commonsense, straight forward, repetitive in a logical way. Dispels the myths of drinking and encourages the mindset to embrace freedom rather than recovery. Jason Vale is known for his juicing books but I just stumbled upon him with a recommendation from where I don’t remember anymore.So glad I did.

My final drink was over three months ago. So why am I reading this now? It’s a popular book and I was on the waiting list at the library. In every book about alcohol you can gain something positive from it surely. This book has it in bucketfuls.

Not a quick read. I mean it makes you think. You will want to go away and linger over a point. Mull it. Pun intended. And then go back to it. It is not a light read, like a summer novel. I didn’t finish it in one sitting. It took me a week. Unusual for me. It’s an important read. It was for me.

Jason’s style is one you will either run with or despise. He repeats himself, on purpose, to hammer in the importance of his points. As he says alcohol is the mostly widely available, accepted and legal drug in the world. It will not be going away anytime soon. The alcohol industry is a behemoth and all that tax goes to the governments so pulling the plug on that won’t be happening. And besides if we are told no, don’t we want it even more?

This book reinforces the belief that no willpower is required to becoming a non-drinker. I attest to that. The decision to not drink alcohol is a difficult one because we fear it will be difficult. That fear is unfounded. Not drinking is easy. Or it was for me. The decision not to drink was difficult. Fear stopped for ages. That fear was unfounded.

The world for me is newly exciting. I have found confidence, joy, more money in the bank and freedom without alcohol. The advantages are countless. The disadvantages none.

I am running with it, this new found freedom. I am not waiting for something to happen to me. I am living life. I no longer have hangovers. I can drive myself anywhere at anytime. I don’t compare my drinking habits with others. I don’t count my drinks. I don’t count my days not drinking. I am free of it all. It feels good. I feel good.

If you are thinking about taking your last drink or have already taken your last drink you will enjoy this book. Perhaps you wonder what the fuss is all about and are just curious. That’s what started you drinking in the first place. Don’t take my word for it. Read it yourself and make your own mind up.

Mrs D is Going Within

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Mrs D is Going Within by Lotta Dann

I’ve gone from an alcohol addiction to a reading addiction. I have finished Lotta Dann’s second book Mrs D is Going Within. One book per day. I wonder if I have an addictive personality? I would, wouldn’t you say so? I love reading and when you have a good book it is hard to put it down. Substitute reading/book for wine and it could be the same thing.

A reading obsession is healthy, isn’t it? Healthier than a sugar binge. But I tend to indulge in that occasionally too. That used to be with wine. Now the sweet tooth is going it alone.

Loved both books. Read them round the right way. Such an easy style to read. Great substance and ideas of how to proceed in the journey in sober land. I made the decision not to drink for Christmas after reading these books. It will be my first sober Christmas ever. Two years ago I started off Christmas Day with the roast meat and vegetables in the oven and champagne in the bath for me. Subsequently after a few drinks I fell asleep in the bath and ended up burning the lunch. It was edible just. Will not be repeating that again.

I tidied up the backyard today. I felt good with the results. I had help too. Many hands make light work. Gosh the weeds were high. All gone now. And with them gone I felt a lightness that made me realise that it was bothering me that the garden was a mess. I had sober issues and was concentrating on not drinking or so I told myself. Stepping into the garden was a tonic. Sitting outside for lunch was fantastic. The reed shade blocked out the sun enough to enjoy the warmth but not be burnt to a crisp.

Quitting alcohol is the easy bit. Or it is so far for me. I’m on Day 13. A newbie. Humour me. Living sober is the journey.
One which needs a toolbox for the ride.
The tools inside my bag are:

Regular Exercise (Walking, Pokemon Go, Weights)
Unconditional Love from my Two Cats (Not a tool per-say but imagine an adorable photo)
Mindfulness
Acceptance
Compassion
Sober Treats (None sweet tooth variety)
Morning Pages (3 pages of writing, Gratitude is part of this)
Internet Out of the Bedroom Habit

I am a work in progress. I don’t do everything perfectly. I make an effort most of the time. Sometimes I have time off. This week I’ve taken time off regular exercise because I cannot sleep. Insomnia is still with me. Two hours sleep last night. I hope that I can re-calibrate my sleeping habit tonight. I am hopeful. My sober treat today was a soak in the bath, with a book and bath salts and an iced glass of sparkling water. I’m trying to gather sober treats to pat myself on the back and say well done me. Morning pages were done at 1:30am. I made use of my time. My smart phone is in the hall charging instead of in the bedroom. Tonight will be the first night without my computer in the bedroom. Books will be on my bedside table instead.

Mindfulness. I think I have been doing a version of this without knowing since i was young. I didn’t know what it was. Observing while in the moment. My mind will wander away from the chatter and I will be in the moment, miss the question or the conversation and upset those around me. Perhaps this is just absentmindedness instead?