Passed a hurdle

Last week I could have had a drink but I didn’t. It was one of those moments when you know you have Fu*ked up and your head makes the sound of television static like in Poltergeist but without the girl talking through the screen.

I am still recovering from that moment. Depression arrived and is outstaying it’s welcome. Better depression than having a drink. Opting for the lesser of two evils. In the past depression and drink would party together so instead now it is a party for one.

I am sitting this one out and going into softly softly major self care mode. I will ride this one out surrounded by tea, a warm house, binge watching, doodling and cats when they decide to show up. I hate watching comedies when I feel like this. I don’t find them funny. In fact there are a lot of comedies that are so incredibly sad that I wonder the state of the mind of the person/people who wrote them. Off track now. Back to softly softly.

Even tried doing housework to rid myself of depression. Nil affect on depression. Marginal improvement on well being. So that’s a win then.

The difference between before and now, I have a champion in my corner. I have a gentle voice inside my head, offering words of comfort and care. I have not heard her before now. There is an inner strength that was not there before. Things are looking up.

7 thoughts on “Passed a hurdle

  1. I feel for you – my depression has only recently lifted and I’m sure it will be back. The inner voice of comfort is a really good sign! I think depression is often grief and it’s the fighting it that gets us stuck in it. Gentle self care is definitely the way to go – take care ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Good luck!
    Something that has worked for me and some friends lately is to see the occasional tough time as an experiment. It’s uplifting to view this state of mind as an opportunity to try out some new ideas on how to get yourself in the groove again as quickly and efficiently as possible.
    One or two bad days is no problem whatsoever. All that is required is to avoid a multi-day (or even multi-week) self-destructive slump. If you can do that, you win 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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