Ridiculous Thought #2

“I’ll never be able to travel again!”

Conclusion: Case Dismissed With Prejudice.

If I fly I’ll miss out on all the free drinks at the airport lounge and on the plane. I can’t go to Europe now. How can I eat tapas without wine? It’s just not done. No more Grappa. No more Limoncello making. No more Umeshu making. No more sangria. No more beers. No more vodka. No more Champagne, Barolo, or Cava. I can’t go back to Spain, Italy or France. There’s no point going to Oslo or Moscow or Dublin.

These were some real thoughts I had. As mentioned before, not all thoughts are equal. Some are straight out lies. The fear of the unknown makes us stay in the ordinary, somewhere safe. Better safe than sorry. Unlikely. You’d die of boredom. I tend not to believe a word I think when I go off on a rant. It is sure to sound legitimate and knowledgeable and even if it’s shouted it doesn’t make it right or even sane.

Never travel again? But you’ve already been to Thailand for a dry holiday. You survived it. No. You enjoyed it. Soda water the whole time. You loved it. You especially loved the scales you stood on every day telling you how much weight you had lost. They didn’t match the scales once you got home though. That wiped a smile off your face. One of them was wrong. There surely must be someone in Europe who doesn’t drink alcohol. Remember you spoke to that French waitress who couldn’t recommend a cheese because she hated the smell of it. There’s bound to be someone who hates alcohol too, right?

You can’t give up travel because of being sober. That’s just stupid. But you went to Spain to sample the wines and spirits. Italy, France, Japan, Australia. You collected wine labels and wine books. You even read wine notes. You started collecting wines.

The wine collection kept shrinking. If a wine was good to keep for 3-4 years it had no chance of waiting that long. It wouldn’t last a year. Buying expensive wine didn’t make it off limits. Nothing worked really. Wine was meant to be drunk. And it was.

Europe is not just wine and spirits. There is far more to it than a liquid. The art, architecture, history, music, theatre, people, beauty and driving. Of course I knew all this but my ridiculous self was turning blue in the face at the thought of not ever another drop. I’ll live and so will she.

About the airport lounge and the alcohol that is served onboard, well I don’t have to pay extra now for membership, and business class travel is about the leg room and lie-flat bedding. And with a well hydrated flight I might just adjust to time zones better on arrival. On short haul flights economy saves a bundle. But from New Zealand most places are far. Any flight over 9 hours and I say business class please.

Think of all the money I will save by not drinking overseas. There is less chance to be taken advantage on with a bill at a restaurant. That hasn’t happened though as far as I know. I check receipts. In fact I collect receipts, they become mementos.

A better sleep on a flight due to being correctly hydrated. Save a tonne of money through not drinking alcohol. You don’t have to worry about drinking and driving because you will always be sober. You will always be fresh to drive the next day. There will never be a concern if you are in an accident, you will be the sober driver. You will be in the right. Dead right, doesn’t help but, for minor scrapes, you know what I mean. You will better remember the trip. It will be more meaningful. You will make better clear headed decisions mid-trip.

Remember you are a nomad. Keep you passport up to date. Always.

Rainy Sunday afternoon

Went to the supermarket today. Avoided the alcohol aisle. Walked down the confectionery aisle and picked out some chocolate for myself. DH went nuts with chocolate buying. He knows that I no longer steal from his stash of goodies so he feels that he can buy what he likes now.

Alcoholic me would have devoured his chocolate in the wee hours with no regard for theĀ  consequences the following morning. Sorry doesn’t cut it really. I am strong enough to resist the urge to binge on sweet stuff because I am not drinking.

It feels good to be trusted around chocolate again. I’m 50 not 5. Such a silly thing but a big step for me.

I feel good for the money I’m saving by not drinking alcohol. I don’t watch TV so I don’t get bombarded with commercials for various brands and labels so that is a positive thing. I have removed myself from wine clubs. I was a member of two. I no longer take calls from them so I cannot be tempted to buy a case.

I haven’t removed the spirits from the drinks cupboard. I plan to move them to the garage so that they are further from line of sight and of mind. Being a lazy drinker I would not bother to go to the garage to grab a drink, I would rather go without. But best to move them sooner than later.

Insomnia is still with me at Day 16 but I can manage to get to sleep now, which is good progress. Will try to get to bed earlier and read a book before nodding off. Trying to have an internet free bedroom. Phone and computer charging elsewhere. Working on that. Haven’t been successful yet but trying. Habits are so hard to break.

Focusing on self care at the moment. I realise that Sober Day 16 is such a new experience that I should take everything slowly. If all goes well it will be for the rest of my sober life. I have been dry for spurts of months and weeks in the past but never with the sober forever in mind. I was having a break. It was always swayed into going back to the wine or the vodka or the beer. I feel that this time I have the right mindset. I know that I am going sober for me. I know that only I can make that decision.

Once this insomnia is kicked I feel that I can start to get back to being creative. Regardless I am back to exercising next week, walking, weights and Pokemon Go. I mowed the lawns last week. Weeding to do next. I am being kind to myself and if I don’t get it done today it will be tomorrow. And if it isn’t done then it isn’t a big deal. It is not the end of the world. Priority is being sober.

Today’s Sober Treats: Chocolate and Reading

Whittaker’s Hawke’s Bay Braeburn Apple with Vanilla 100g

The Village Effect: How Face-to-face Contact Can Make Us Healthier, Happier and Smarter by Susan Pinker