Apres exercise

Walked my two kilometers today with the aid of an audio book. I could have walked further as the book was good. Decided instead to not overdo it and stopped. This tendency to do too much is why I am writing his blog in the first place. It is better to exercise moderately five times a week rather than all out twice a week. Moderation.

Insomnia is becoming less and less. Managed to get to sleep after a restless hour or so. Time is estimated as I now refuse to clock watch at night. I think it makes it worse. I no longer lie in bed wide awake, I have an exhausted feel, a sleepy feeling instead. That however doesn’t naturally allow me to fall asleep easily. I am being patient with this. I can see improvement. I just want insomnia to no longer be a topic of discussion. I want it to be a thing of the past. Done.

My winter pyjama bottoms are super soft and I love them to bits. I almost threw them out last week. Why? They are covered with images of half filled champagne glasses and I wanted to rid myself of all thing alcohol and my pyjamas were in my line of sight. They survived. I realised that I was being a bit extreme and that it would have been a waste to throw them out.

So far so good. I don’t want to drink anything. But the space the drinking has left behind is huge. I have so much I want to do. I have much to achieve. The drinking has postponed so much of my life.
I’ll get round to it!
Tomorrow!
I’m not in the mood!
I don’t feel like it!
Sure! (then instantly forgets what was agreed upon)

Setting up good habits will make life easily when days are not going so smoothly. Exercise is put in place. I just need to do it. Aiming at four times a week to feel a success. Morning Pages are ideally ever day not necessarily in the morning but anytime really. I have missed a day here and there. Getting the internet out of the bedroom is taking some getting used to. Better luck tonight. Sober treats is a lovely idea and yesterday I bought some pomegranate tea to have when the mood appears. I’m reading more and that is always a good thing. Reading is so much more enjoyable, an active activity. I mean compared to watching Netflix, a passive activity. Reading stimulates the mind and if I get around to reading all the books that I want to read I might have to live past one hundred.

Today’s Sober Treats: Chamomile tea and Reading

The Village Effect: How Face-to-face Contact Can Make Us Healthier, Happier and Smarter by Susan Pinker


Rainy Sunday afternoon

Went to the supermarket today. Avoided the alcohol aisle. Walked down the confectionery aisle and picked out some chocolate for myself. DH went nuts with chocolate buying. He knows that I no longer steal from his stash of goodies so he feels that he can buy what he likes now.

Alcoholic me would have devoured his chocolate in the wee hours with no regard for theĀ  consequences the following morning. Sorry doesn’t cut it really. I am strong enough to resist the urge to binge on sweet stuff because I am not drinking.

It feels good to be trusted around chocolate again. I’m 50 not 5. Such a silly thing but a big step for me.

I feel good for the money I’m saving by not drinking alcohol. I don’t watch TV so I don’t get bombarded with commercials for various brands and labels so that is a positive thing. I have removed myself from wine clubs. I was a member of two. I no longer take calls from them so I cannot be tempted to buy a case.

I haven’t removed the spirits from the drinks cupboard. I plan to move them to the garage so that they are further from line of sight and of mind. Being a lazy drinker I would not bother to go to the garage to grab a drink, I would rather go without. But best to move them sooner than later.

Insomnia is still with me at Day 16 but I can manage to get to sleep now, which is good progress. Will try to get to bed earlier and read a book before nodding off. Trying to have an internet free bedroom. Phone and computer charging elsewhere. Working on that. Haven’t been successful yet but trying. Habits are so hard to break.

Focusing on self care at the moment. I realise that Sober Day 16 is such a new experience that I should take everything slowly. If all goes well it will be for the rest of my sober life. I have been dry for spurts of months and weeks in the past but never with the sober forever in mind. I was having a break. It was always swayed into going back to the wine or the vodka or the beer. I feel that this time I have the right mindset. I know that I am going sober for me. I know that only I can make that decision.

Once this insomnia is kicked I feel that I can start to get back to being creative. Regardless I am back to exercising next week, walking, weights and Pokemon Go. I mowed the lawns last week. Weeding to do next. I am being kind to myself and if I don’t get it done today it will be tomorrow. And if it isn’t done then it isn’t a big deal. It is not the end of the world. Priority is being sober.

Today’s Sober Treats: Chocolate and Reading

Whittaker’s Hawke’s Bay Braeburn Apple with Vanilla 100g

The Village Effect: How Face-to-face Contact Can Make Us Healthier, Happier and Smarter by Susan Pinker