Consistency isn’t working for me

Consistency is just another form of perfectionism. I have been trying to change my habits and the way I’m doing it is just not working. It’s supposed to be fun, enjoyable. I’m trying too hard. It’s not.

I have forgotten joy and fun and silliness.

Today I ate breakfast at 7pm. I slept all day. My body, mind and soul is having a rest. I am no longer going to try too hard at anything. I am bringing back silliness, fun and joy. Rules are out the door. Purpose, productivity and reason can just fire truck off. I’m done with it. Time for a reset.

I may teach myself to dance to Master KG’s Jerusalema Nomcebo’s voice is so beautiful. Love this song. Check out the dance challenge.


Okay is better than perfect

One small action no matter how small is a step in the right direction. Even if poorly done is better than none.

61%, 72%, 85%, 93% anyone of those is okay.
If we try at 100% everyday we have no back up, no reserves.
If we try at 80% everyday we have a spare 20% waiting for if or when it is needed.
Rest and holding reserves are necessary.
Like with an iPhone battery if we charge it to 100% every time we actually reduce the capacity of the battery, whereas if we charge to 80%-90% and unplug we don’t run into the same issues.

I know 100%, perfection is unattainable. Yet I still strive for it subconsciously.

I used to try doing things perfectly. It would drive me crazy never being able to attain what I strove for. It was unhealthy. It was insanity. It was irritating. It was frustrating. Many things.
I see the damage in striving for perfection. It’s obvious when you stand back and look from a distance. When you are in the middle of it, perfection seems magical, easily attainable if one just puts in the time and effort, just a little more.

Now as I said I know that perfection is unattainable so I have gone the other extreme, not bothering at all. If I cannot do it perfectly then I’m not going to try. It won’t be good enough. This is ridiculous thinking. Nothing to do with being sober or not. It’s a give up mentality. Catherine Tate’s character Lauren springs to mind, “I ain’t bothered.”

Waiting for something to get the point of needing to be addressed is not the time to start doing something about it. Regular maintenance on a car is better than waiting for it to break down before fixing it. I can see the logic of it. I know doing something poorly is better than not doing it at all. I am on the other side of perfection. The mentality is the same just on the other side of the coin. The sticking point is perfection.

I must let go of perfectionism. This new phase of my life, this new sober me, has begun. It requires growth on my part. Effort. Effort I am willing to make because I want to always be continuously learning, becoming a better me.

A lack of consistency trips me up most times. I start with good intentions but give up and lose interest. Perhaps this is a safety mechanism, built in? Who knows? Doing something, anything is better than doing nothing. Not always but mostly.

One small action no matter how small is a step in the right direction. Even if poorly done is better than none.