An Involuntary “Yes”

Last night I was asked if I’d like a sweet snack. I immediately yelled back, “yes, please.” I was in another room.

It took me a split second to realise that I wasn’t eating snacks at night. I was trying to NOT eat sugary delights. I changed my reply to a firm ‘no.’

Habit is what it is, involuntary automated actions or thoughts that inhabit our lives. The bad ones are hard to shake. They reply for us when we are undecided. I have gone five days without sugary snacks. I have lost weight. This is a good start. Today the weight plateaued but I know why. It was the tempura yesterday. Oily fried foods. Noted.

I have gone from absolute concentration to grumpy to head-achy back to grumpy and ho hum. When I wake up on Monday i will have made it to an entire week. Again I am determined to make it one week. Alcohol and sugar have been a huge part of my life for so long it is such a change to not reach for a glass of something or munch on something.

The involuntary yes to alcohol is no longer there. It is long gone. I am not a year sober yet but feel I have a handle on it. Or at least I do today. I haven’t been tempted. Sugar is still a firm habit that I am ripping off. The black adder tea was a Godsend last night. Licorice without the sugar.

Why is it that a bad habit is so hard to shake and a good habit so difficult to adopt? Both take effort. And we tend to take the easier option when offered choice. I know. And then when we are offered too much choice we freeze and make no decision at all.

I am choosing to be healthy.

Headaches and sleepiness

Three days successfully without sugary snacks in the evenings but last night I was head-achy and oh so sleepy, so I took paracetamol and went to bed ridiculously early.

Confession. I had two small bites of an ice cream that was on offer yesterday afternoon.

Cutting out sugar from my diet feels just as hard as giving up alcohol. I was reading online if headaches were a thing when going sugar-free. It is. I had homemade jam on my croissant this morning. And for those thinking, that’s not going sugar free well it is good enough for me.

I am feeling quite determined this week. I feel ready to face sugar. I know realistically it won’t ever be absent from my diet but if I can get the processed food type of sugar away from my diet that will be a milestone. Then evenings are the hardest as I’ve mentioned earlier. I bought string beans yesterday. To have as an evening snack if I need a snack. I have salted peanuts, black adder (licorice) tea to have instead of licorice sweets. I bought strong Earl Grey tea and kiwifruit too. I am ready.

There is chocolate and ice cream in the house and I have not touched them. There are no cravings for either as I write this, but it’s not the witching hour so that’s hardly surprising.

I don’t want to be focusing on food all the time, but I need to get sugar under control. Bear with me. This is a health crisis prevention order I have given myself. I chose to be sober. Now I am choosing to be healthier too. I am facing my health. I can do better. More vegetables and fruit in my diet. My policy is focused on adding good habits to the diet. I am waving a carrot in my face in the best way possible.