A change is afoot

Yesterday was a good day. From the outside looking in it was an ordinary day, just like any other. But it wasn’t. I felt different. I was active. I made healthy meals for brunch and dinner making sure I had vegetables. I chose soba noodles over fried eggs and bacon. Then I had more noodles for dinner with fried vegetables. Yes I like noodles.

I drank green tea throughout the day. And this is the weird part. I did not snack or have any desire to snack between or after meals. I drank tea instead. I had a bath and went to bed early. I planned my bullet journal, wrote and sketched. I exercised for twenty minutes while I read an Ebook. Gabrielle Union’s We’re Going To Need Some More Wine. Finished it. Well worth a read.

Depression was nowhere in sight. Not even on the horizon running towards me. No sign, nothing. It felt strange. It felt wonderful. I haven’t had a day like this in a long time. Everything clicked and I did normal things but it all felt, well, great. I even felt excited. I didn’t do anything special. I didn’t go anywhere. Yet, it was an extraordinary day. Today the feelings are still with me. Even DH remarked at the change.

What have I done differently? Nothing. That’s not true. It is an accumulation of daily morning pages written at anytime of day, treating myself with kind words like my new best friend, rather than the harsh words of the voice on the shoulder. I have been writing dreams mostly daily. By dreams, I mean wishes for the future, rather than the dreams when you sleep. And I am dreaming big. Letting go and writing things that dare to be written. It is freeing.

Daily rituals or routines that you enjoy or help with your day, your development, learning make the difference between disorder and order. Automatic actions make for less choices or decisions to be made. They have already been decided. There is less mental gymnastics to perform. You just do it.

I am my new project. I am determined to give my future self a healthier body, a more organised home, and a brighter future. I am looking at this with fun and enjoyment, not as a chore. If I mess up. So what. Tomorrow is a new day. I get up and try again.

My 2020 goal is the little goal. The goal where I build myself up and give myself a healthier lifestyle and build up stamina for the rest to come.

Best Decade Ever with Mel Robbins, if you follow along with the free course it really inspires you to dream. It’s not too late to join. Google it and discover for yourself.

Today is turning out like yesterday. Another extraordinary day.

Sober as. The turn of a bird’s head.

Dream challenge: Weigh 75kg(165lbs) and to go indoor rock climbing by 30 November 2020

Said it..My goal is to be 75kg (165lbs) so I can go indoor rock climbing!

My future self, my old me is my focus. I am doing this for my future me. I am looking after myself for my future self. I am imagining how I can make my life easier for my future self. Carry around less weight will make life easier, eating healthier will give me longer and a better state to be in. Exercising now will improve my moods for now and the future. Continuously learning something will stimulate my mind and hopefully prevent Alzheimer’s. Using my hands to create something will also reduce the chances. Learning a language will activate a part of my brain so it continues to be stimulated. Travel in the future will be enhanced by language skills learnt. If I can’t do it for the present me I will do it for future me.

Sometimes it’s hard to do something for oneself. We sacrifice ourselves by ignoring what needs to be done. For reasons unknown. I am quick to help someone else if they drop something, to open a door, or to return a shopping trolley for someone less able. It’s a given. I like to help everyone else except myself. I cannot explain it. I’m doing it for my future self. Whatever makes it happen. If it’s a mind game that works. I’ll take it.

Yesterday I added cycling to my habits. A stationary cycle. This is for my mental health. Yesterday I did 15 minutes. DH is doing it with me. I asked him to join me. He did.

The Minimal Mom from YouTube has a vlog about meal planning and what I took away from it was a sheet of paper for the fridge door.
Left hand column has the words USE UP.
Right hand column LEFTOVERS.

So before something in the fridge, freezer or cupboard goes to mush, expires or goes mouldy you have a second chance reminder. A back up. Today I wrote eggplant and tomatoes in my Use Up list. I tossed some mystery meat from the freezer. It had freezer burn and I cannot tell what it is because there is no label on it.

I mentioned I think in my last post about organising my kitchen cupboards. Well I have instead started cleaning the kitchen. It is a roundabout way of doing it but it will all benefit me down the line. Wiping kitchen cupboards. Wiping the kitchen floor. Wiping out the microwave. Leaving the oven for another day.

I am doing Mel Robbins #BestDecadeEver challenge. Look it up if you want to join. Completely free. My above dream is the first dream I am challenging myself with. I stopped drinking. I believe I can do anything.

Join me in voicing your dream and let’s help each other get there. Encourage me. Prod me. Call me out if I get off track. Join me.