One day shy of 9 months sober

Wow. Time is flying. I thought it was eight months sober but it’s almost nine months now. Still going strong. Still grateful everyday for not drinking. I didn’t expect an easy ride but I thought that instead of drinking that I’d be losing weight. That hasn’t happened. Not too concerned really if I’m honest. Better that than drinking.

On the plus side I have gotten my sleep patterns back to normal. It takes less time to fall asleep than in the first few sober months, and I am making an effort to consistently get to bed before midnight.

Another plus, I have got back my love of drawing again. I am making effort to add this to my life on a daily basis. So good to have this back in my life. My creativity is resurfacing and I am running with it.

Yet another plus, the recycling rubbish and regular rubbish is not mounting up as it did when we were drinking. Not only do we have less rubbish, we buy less junk food, eat out less and so are saving money. What a bonus. Creative pursuits are generally mind work so they don’t require huge sums of money. So I wonder again why I didn’t give up drinking sooner. The stingy side of me is jumping up and down with joy. My sober side is joining in. I am just one big bundle of joy.

Housework has not been a priority. Self care has been. Dust and clutter is around me. I can look at it and not have feelings of shame or guilt. That is a huge step for me. I want to be tidier and have a clean house one day. Sleep and self care have been a priority. Slowly I am adding things to do for routines that hopefully will be automatic in the future.

I have asked for help and am getting the lawns mowed on a regular basis. That has been money well spent. Seems like such a small thing but it makes me feel lighter.

Next in the help pile is to get someone in to help clean on a regular basis. I just need to get over the embarrassment of the state of things now and admit this is where it is and what needs getting done. I have had the name and phone number of someone for four months and had planned on getting the house into a better state before the cleaner came. Stupid I know. Vanity appears in ridiculous moments.

I haven’t been writing much here because I have been finding my feet, and getting on with life. I find myself walking in the right direction.

One thing I find difficult is finding places to go where alcohol is not the main focus. I am trying to find nice places where I can go out and be comfortable and sit and drink tea or coffee and indulge in something sweet. A sober treat outing so to speak. I am a great booth sitter. Nothing like a booth to be comfortable. That is one of my quests this year – to find date spots. Home is the best place to sit and drink tea or coffee, talk, read a good book. I am thinking outside the box and parks and picnics seem like a great idea. Only it’s winter now and and not the greatest plan for wet weather. Again, lighting the fire and enjoying the ambiance is a start, at home.

Staying put without travelling, becoming a better version of myself is just what I need to work on now. Looking forward to having a year under my belt before I breathe a sigh of relief.

My sober treat is a waterproof Kindle. I can now read in the bath without having to worry if I drop the device in the water. I don’t have to read paperbacks carefully without wet hands, the Kindle will be so much easier. We’ll see how we go.

A Purring

I’m one of those people who like to get everywhere early. Punctual. I allowed for traffic and the unforeseen hurdles. So I planned for bad traffic and a delay at the post office picking up the parcel. And low and behold we were more than half an hour early for our vet appointment. There was no traffic at all. It was smooth driving, interrupted occasionally by a wailing cat. He wasn’t happy. Perhaps he thought he was being returned or abandoned. Who really knows. Maybe he didn’t like the music on the radio.

He sat patiently in the waiting room, caged and smoochy. Was expertly avoiding eye contact with the two dogs and the other cat. All was well. We waited. The canary sang behind the counter. The parrot was grumpy. A blanket was thrown over his cage. He napped after that. It was the afternoon of a heat wave.

Once in the consultation room the purring began. A reluctance to get out of the cage, a shyness to show off his inside back leg. Once it was done he was fine. He behaved like a champion, all 4.2kg of him. He has grown, a lot. We met him when he was 400g. He has come a long way.

It was nothing. It was a war wound, a bite or a scratch, licked to death with a ring of bald skin. Made it look worse than it was. He was thinking why did we bother, I could have stayed on the couch. Antibiotics were offered. We obliged. Pills twice a day for the next five days. Ten pink pills to shove down his throat. He won’t like me for ten moments. I wish for a short memory.

Life without booze is freedom. Early appointments are now a possibility. My head is on straight. I can face whatever life throws at me. Okay except the ice machine. I haven’t won that battle yet. The wooden spoon is not winning again the ice buildup. I have jabbed with a bbq fork. And a large knife. Still not working. Patience. Will try again tomorrow. I have read the manual. It’s useless. Might need to call customer service. Will assess if that’s a must tomorrow.

Picked up pizza tonight, washed it down with fizzy drink. Pepperoni, chili flakes extra. Pizza eaten sober is quite delicious. I didn’t opt for the larger pizza. I chose regular. It’s all gone now. Every bite was hot and crisp. Just right. Not a crust left in sight. Today was a carefree day. No gym, no cooking. A be kind to me day.

Two months sober. Yesss. Pizza was my sober treat.