Moderately Sober

The title of my blog: Moderately sober made sense the day I became sober. I had just drawn the last straw with drinking. I made the decision to abstain from drinking. This time I was serious. I have had a few dry months in my life and a dry holiday trip to Thailand. That was all.

Abstain? Formally decline a wine? The declaration can not be taken seriously. Moderately sober? Not possible. It’s like saying “I’m moderately pregnant.” You cannot be moderately sober, you are either sober, a drinker, an alcoholic, or a normal drinker. A normal drinker is just an alcoholic in waiting.

I did honestly think that I would go back to having a drink once a week, controlling myself, after a break from alcohol for a couple of months. I now realise that this is a flawed idea. One cannot control alcohol, the alcohol controls you. I was holding out on the desire to have a drink again one day sometime in the future, hence, the title, moderately sober.

Foolish thoughts enter the head. They can be heeded and/or observed as they float past and away. Moderately sober is one of those foolish ideas. It is now a reminder to myself that “drinking in moderation” is a myth. Cannot be done. The person you are before your first drink becomes a different person after the first drink. The logic and decision making changes. What was considered foolish before now becomes a brilliant idea.

No one plans to drink and drive at the start of the evening. No one plans to argue with their spouse/partner/friend. It happens when the foolish becomes sensible. Logic disappears and demented thought rules supreme.

We are not the wisest when we drink. We are not the smartest when we drink. We might becomes the loudest and the most obnoxious but that is all. Poets, artists, writers, sculptors don’t do their best work when they drink. That is a myth.

“Moderately” is a reminder that moderation is a myth.
I will continue to be sober from here on in.

DH suggested I make a video for myself, declaring to be sober. I did that. For just in case I get the urge to drink again, I can play it to myself. I don’t think I will need it. It’s insurance.

6 thoughts on “Moderately Sober

  1. As one who dedicated years to the idea of moderation, I applaud your decision. There are some things I can moderate, and some I can’t. I can’t, for example, moderate sugar. I either eat tons of it or I have to get it completely out of my system. Once I add back in a cookie reward now and then, it takes over like alcohol used to. Sugar and alcohol have similar effects on the brain, but I will never be charged with driving while impaired with a bag of cookies on my lap. ; )

    Like

    • Sugar is a tough one. Just finished an entire bag of marshmallows today. The ants got into my stash. Haven’t got that one under control yet. Working on adding better food rather than stopping or depriving myself.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Day seven, no sugar. Energy level high, but I tried to talk myself into a huge chocolate chip cookie as a “reward.” Sound familiar? (I rewarded myself with wine the first time I went 30 days sober.)

        Like

      • Well done for going 7 days without sugar. Oh dear about the chocolate chip biscuit! Can completely relate. Notice a huge difference in mood after consuming sugary foods. More noticeable since giving up alcohol.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s