Wendy writes of JOY on untipsyteacher and I loved her description of joy. Me. I just can’t feel it right now.
I tried writing a post last week. I didn’t post it. It was too dark and depressing. That was my mood. It was the truth. I still feel the same. Depression is here. I cannot move forward or back or over. I try to make an effort and boy is it an effort. Life should be a joy. It is not at the moment.
I am joyless. I am depressed.
Coronavirus is creating a layer on our lives which we never would have imagined.
I went for a walk for the first time in ages. I didn’t like seeing people. I did and I didn’t. Just don’t come near me but acknowledge me. Prickly as a pineapple, is me. Not sure if the walk helped. It was nice to see the water and the sky. So yes. I didn’t prepare well, didn’t wear socks so go blisters on my heels. I tried my best but today my best is bit#hy. I am not pleasant to be around.
So very tired. Exhausted. Anxious. Snappy. Prickly. Don’t say anything kind to me. I don’t deserve it. I will take it the wrong way and that compliment you said will backfire like a turd in a catapult. Walk away. I just want a break from myself. Tired. So so sick of myself.
No desire to drink again. Luckily. But tell me what is the point if all I feel now is constantly depressed? Don’t answer that. Today I lack the concept of hope. There is no hope today.
Sober as a bitten fingernail.
A request though, do you have a book that you would recommend that would be helpful in dealing with depression?